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I say we invade Canada.


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#1 Manoka

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 07:22 PM

I say we invade Canada. By we of course I mean the U.S. and NATO allies. Now I know what some are you are thinking; why? Well, I have a couple of good reasons below! 
 
 
1. They have A LOT of oil- Canad's oil supply is roughly equivalent to the United State's. We invade, our entire oil import problem goes away. Perhaps literally. Obviously, the motive of any invasion should be annexation; if we just bomb all of Canada, it's a waste. Get their workers, their resources, their equipment, their soldiers, and we've just improved our nation by absorbing it all. They also have a lot of time, land, and drugs. A bounty of natural resources (although maple syrup and ice aren't exactly that great of an export).
 
2. They are Tiny!- Canada is pretty small. Their population is around 30 million, while the United State's is about 300 million or more. Furthermore, their military size is approximately, 25 times smaller than the U.S., if we include "supplementary" forces and their "Rangers". That's including reservists. More or less, they're an easy target. 
 
Granted, Russia has a lot of oil but, they wouldn't exactly be an easy target. Russia has about a quarter our military but a draft could produce a lot more. Something like that wouldn't fly in Canada, meaning they're even more at a loss. At best, it's Canada's 118,000 versus the U.S.' 3 million+. Not to mention, our military equipment, training, and resources in general tend to be superior in almost every possible conceivable way. That being said, a pysch OP campaign would be best.  
 
 
3. Easily encouragable Separatists- Quebec has historically wanted to secede from Canada. Give them enough of a push and they would all separate and likely start to join the U.S.; The "No" campaign won, but only by a very small margin — 50.6% to 49.4%; it wouldn't take much to get them to leave, and that was in 1995. A couple of false flag operations like 9/11 in the U.S. (except we are actually the heroes this time and SAVE our guys) and some changing of bank accounts and other information incriminating Canadians and we can tick them off. We'll just tell everyone we've been monitoring their communications and couldn't believe it and only did anything about it at the last second. NSA is now justified AND everyone turns to Canada; a bunch more operations start being carried out by American special operations in Canadian uniforms, and there is a reluctant military invasion. 
 
After they stew for a while all their old guys are kicked out by puppets and in the confusion in the international community we just say for them to sign a treaty which technically makes them U.S. property, I.E. we annex them. We slowly transition them from Canadian to U.S. and not a whole lot changes besides that cheap, cheap oil! The key here is to go after the leaders and incriminate them whilst making Canadian citizens themselves turn against them and not want a war with the U.S., their old ally. In the end, we go easy on the Canadians to make it LOOK like we like them and voila, got the country on our side. 
 
 
4. Close proximity to U.S.- Geographically this a close war. We are in a close proximity to Canada, in that we border them. They're right next to us, easy targets, we have our troops embedded within their country already, and a host of other issues. The logistical supply line is short, we take over their oil and stuff, and they additionally have no neighbors to help them out. Furthermore, we have Alaska, so we're already flanking them. 
 
 
5. History of Corrupt leaders- I know, I know, so does everyone. But! I can't seem to find the source but I know that one of the major people there were pardoned despite being allied with the Mafia. Since Chicago and New York are right next to Canada, and the Canadian wilderness is largely empty, it was an ideal way to smuggle things into the U.S. if they couldn't be directly smuggled, by sea, from Italy for the Mafia. Can't exactly find my sources but I know that's a thing. 
 
 
6. Moral and Ethical Quandaries- Fuck Canada. 
 
 
 
So what do you think ED; should we invade Canada or what?




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#2 Manoka

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 07:23 PM

inb4 "BUT CANADA WOULD NEVER ACCEPT U.S. RULE!"

 

We create false flag operations making Canadian leaders look bad, we make it look like they've teamed up with Russia (they're right next to Russia geographically) and also possibly China, and like their leaders are corrupt and evil in general, a few years up to this. Cancel their trade deals, worsen their economy, create general unrest. 

 

 

You know, a total pysch OP campaign. 

 

Then we take over, but only "technically", and "let" Canada more or less rule itself, until they're slowly assimilated into us and a majority vote in favor of becoming a new state. 

 

 

Mexico can just be annexed without a fuss, no problem there. 

 

If anyone questions, who cares right? Pretty much no-one depends on Canada for foreign trade, and they're about the size of Australia. So it'll just pass by most country's. BLAM! Seems legit. 


Edited by Manoka, 06 August 2014 - 07:25 PM.


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#3 TheDogMan

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 10:16 PM

That sounds terribly evil, the Canadians are so nice! Addition to the idea: invade Mexico and annex it as a sovereign territory for cheap labor.

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#4 Manoka

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 10:50 PM

That sounds terribly evil, the Canadians are so nice! Addition to the idea: invade Mexico and annex it as a sovereign territory for cheap labor.

Yes, or that. 

 

We've been trying to get rid of the crime problem from the cartels for years anyways, and the Mexican Military is now fighting them in the street, and losing D:

 

 

80% of our homicide comes from organized crime! 

 

Cutting that out could help a lot! 

 

 

Also I'm pretty sure we could just invade and be like "soorray" and they would be like "it's okay" and we'd take over, peacefully. xP


Edited by Manoka, 06 August 2014 - 10:54 PM.


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#5 rotty

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 07:56 AM

The US already owns Canada so no need to invade.  :P



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#6 ᗅᗺᗷᗅ

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 09:11 AM

And we already get cheap labor from Mexico.  In fact if we annexed them it would increase the cost of labor because everyone in Mexico would suddenly become an American citizen.

 

Frankly I'd rather go the other way 'round, i.e. have Canada invade/annex US.  They seem to have their shit together up there a little better than we do!



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#7 TheDogMan

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 04:16 PM

And we already get cheap labor from Mexico.  In fact if we annexed them it would increase the cost of labor because everyone in Mexico would suddenly become an American citizen.


Not if they're a sovereign territory. ;)
 

Frankly I'd rather go the other way 'round, i.e. have Canada invade/annex US.  They seem to have their shit together up there a little better than we do!


I do not agr---nvm, you're right on that one partner. Canada's great.


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#8 Haflinger

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 04:28 PM

I say we invade Canada. By we of course I mean the U.S. and NATO allies.

Emphasis added. The catch of course being that Canada is a NATO ally. B-)



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#9 Manoka

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 05:20 PM

And we already get cheap labor from Mexico.  In fact if we annexed them it would increase the cost of labor because everyone in Mexico would suddenly become an American citizen.

 

Frankly I'd rather go the other way 'round, i.e. have Canada invade/annex US.  They seem to have their shit together up there a little better than we do!

Canada's too tiny for that to really work out.

 

Also looks can be deceiving. xP



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#10 King Biscuit

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Posted 08 August 2014 - 09:46 AM

As much as I disagree with / loathe Manoka, I can get behind this.

Annexation is off the table though.

Install Viceroys and call it a day.

:goteam:



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#11 Imperator

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 03:46 AM

I think I know the reason behind this idea, you just want Canadian Bacon, right Manoka?

That's the only real reason to invade Canada.

Edited by Imperator, 09 August 2014 - 03:47 AM.


#12 Manoka

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 12:59 PM

I think I know the reason behind this idea, you just want Canadian Bacon, right Manoka?

That's the only real reason to invade Canada.

Wut?! 

 

No, no... :ninja:

 

 

Of course not. 


Edited by Manoka, 09 August 2014 - 01:05 PM.


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#13 Redezra

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 09:07 PM

The United Americas of America, that's what this is leading to.



#14 Manoka

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Posted 09 August 2014 - 09:46 PM

The United Americas of America, that's what this is leading to.


Hell yes. A true United State's of America.

 

And AU, to combine with the EU, and then form into a GU, for a global union! 

 

 

It will be GLORIOUS! 

 

All hail the new empire! 

 

 

Err, I mean New World Order. 

 

I mean, the Illuminati. 

 

 

Yes. 

 

One of those. 


Edited by Manoka, 09 August 2014 - 09:48 PM.


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Posted 09 August 2014 - 10:58 PM

I have always envisioned it as the North American Union.  But "United States of North America" is one you hear most bandied about by pundits.  Personally, I'd like to see a looser North American Confederation, with regional member states having ultimate sovereignty, à la the European Union.  My beloved New England would be an independent country within a larger alliance; the rest of the continent can do what it wants.  I once took a shot at imagining what such a division of the United States might look like, based on existing state lines:

newnorthamerica-1.jpg



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#16 Manoka

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Posted 10 August 2014 - 02:33 AM

I have always envisioned it as the North American Union.  But "United States of North America" is one you hear most bandied about by pundits.  Personally, I'd like to see a looser North American Confederation, with regional member states having ultimate sovereignty, à la the European Union.  My beloved New England would be an independent country within a larger alliance; the rest of the continent can do what it wants.  I once took a shot at imagining what such a division of the United States might look like, based on existing state lines:

newnorthamerica-1.jpg

"Deseret"?

 

Now you just aren't even trying. xP



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#17 Haflinger

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Posted 10 August 2014 - 12:20 PM

Hilariously, Aztlan was the name of one of the countries in the late-80s FASA roleplaying game Shadowrun.

 

Woah were they ever bastards. But they were mostly where Mexico is.



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