42 replies to this topic

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

This morning I passed out at work for no apparent reason.  I had just gotten off the phone and was saying something to my nursing student (can you believe they trust me with nursing students?), when suddenly I felt lightheaded and dropped like a sack of wet laundry.  The whole thing was a little surreal, and I had enough remaining cognizance as I was going down to think, "Wow, I'm fainting!"  Then I was on the floor.  To her credit, my student (it was her first day) remained calm and handled the situation perfectly.  Afterward she told me that at first she thought maybe I was testing her.  Heh.  I was tempted to reply, "I was.  And you failed.  Get out."  But I just met the poor girl; there's plenty of time to mess with her head.

 

So now I'm sitting in the waiting room of Beverly Hospital, a couple towns over from my office.  (When I checked in I told the woman at the desk I fainted.  She smiled a little condescendingly and said, "We call that syncope."  I smiled back and replied, "I know.  I'm a nurse.")  They've done a 12-lead EKG, and although they are being typically "hospital coy" about telling me anything until they've had a chance to investigate thoroughly, I saw the printout and it was normal.  My fear is that since I have no other relevant medical history and I am in excellent physical shape they're going to suspect a cardiac arrhythmia and keep me overnight for observation.  *grumbles in annoyance at the thought*  At least I had the presence of mind to grab my laptop.

[m3g4tr0n]

Shit, are you pregnant?

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

Shit, are you pregnant?

 

Gah!  I hadn't thought of that!

 

Er, Thrash, we need to talk...

[Manoka]

I have no other relevant medical history and am in excellent physical shape

 

Mhhm.

[Octavian]

Make sure to tell that student good job for not panicing. lol

[Thrash]

Get ready to take a run on a treadmill with all kinds of wires on you.

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

That's a stress test.  They probably won't do that yet.  If they do my results will look a lot like this:

 

 

 

Their first line of thought is going to be an intermittent, transient arrhythmia.  These are not particularly unusual or dangerous, and they often cause syncope in people like me who have low baseline heart rates.  Remember when President Bush famously fainted while eating pork rinds?  Same thing.  He's a runner, so his HR is low.

 

The two ways they would investigate this (if indeed that's what they decide to do) are by either keeping me overnight on a monitor, or else sending me home with something called a Holter monitor.  The idea is that if there is an arrhythmia it only occurs infrequently, so a regular EKG won't catch it.

 

But who knows?  They might draw labs and find out my electrolytes are all screwed up.  Either way, it doesn't seem likely to be anything too serious.  More of a nuisance.

[rotty]

A lobotomy should fix everything.

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

That's what I keep telling them.

[Conquest]

you should have one-upped the nurse at the desk. If only you had not just fainted maybe you could have come up with a more witty response. First thing that popped into my head was something like "shut the fuck up"

 

Sounds witty enough to me.

 

but on a serious note, thats kinda cool that you are a nurse and you can diagnose yourself pretty much. Who needs a trip to the hospital?

[Haflinger]

Just remember that medical professionals are usually the worst patients, just like lawyers are the worst clients there too. Try not to be too hard on them.

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

Yeah...

 

So as I was sitting in the waiting room a woman a few seats over collapsed.  So I got to do some work today after all.  I think they thought it was funny when one of the patients shouted out for gurney STAT. 

[King Hobbs]

Since no one else has... I hope you are ok Jorost and that you don't die!

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

Thanks, Hobbsie.  I'm fine, by the way.  It turned out more or less exactly like I thought it would, i.e. they didn't find anything.  In every measurable way, I am a superb example of the human male.  "Idiopathic transient syncopal episode," which is medicalese for "fainted for no apparent reason."  All the tests came back normal.  I'll follow up with my own doctor tomorrow, but probably there will never be a definitive answer.  If not, and it never happens again, then it doesn't matter.  If it does happen again they will have to look again, more closely.  But I don't expect that.  Sometimes people just faint.  Maybe my blood sugar was a little low, maybe I was a little dehydrated, and when I stood up quickly my blood pressure bottomed out briefly and kaboom.  Anyway it's a day off tomorrow, so I can't complain too much.

 

If nothing else I gave my nursing student a first day to remember.

[PrinceVegeta]

Glad it was nothing serious.

[Redezra]

You need to eat more sugar :3

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

More protein, actually.  Sugar is not my problem!

[King Biscuit]

I used to have faiting spells a lot when I was a kid.

Like, a lot.

 

I was never diagnosed with anything, as, nothing was wrong.

 

Anywho, glad to hear your haven't done the way of the dinosaurs m'lord.

 

[rotty]

Maybe your nursing student has the hots for you and slipped you a mickey and had their way with you for hours.

[King Biscuit]

Maybe your nursing student has the hots for you and slipped you a mickey and had their way with you for hours.