A Brief History of the Invictan Nation
by
His Highness Jorost of the Crownlands, First of His Name, Lord of the Invictae, Protector of the Realm, and Guardian of the Faith
(with additional contributions by Norman Mailer)
Invicta.
Is there a more beautiful word in the English language?
Invicta.
The very name conjures up images of strength, resolve, and courage in the face of adversity, the qualities personified in Invicta, the Goddess of Victory, statues of whom dot our tiny land like devotional shrines.
But what is this place, this land, this Invicta? And who are the Invictan people?
The modern day nation of Invicta finds its origins in the medieval Kingdom of Kent, known in Latin as the Regnum Cantuariorum. Forcibly integrated with England for centuries, Kent nevertheless maintained its distinct culture and identity. Almost from the beginning a Kentish independence movement took root. "Invicta," the ancient motto of the Kingdom of Kent, became their by-word, while the traditional White Horse of Kent became their symbol. Both were subsequently banned by English authorities.
And so things stood for centuries. The Kentish resistance movement's strength waxed and waned with the vicissitudes of history, but it never disappeared completely. By the twentieth century the situation had grown violent, Kentish freedom fighters having been inspired by the struggles of their Irish brethren. This led to the formation of the unfortunately named Invicta Resistance Army, or IRA, the paramilitary wing of the Kentish independence movement. Sadly their deeds were always attributed to that other, more famous IRA, leaving many modern Englishmen unaware that a Kentish resistance movement existed at all. Still, in the heady days of the 1960s and 1970s, when revolution was in the air, IRA imagery was spray painted, it seemed, on every wall in Canterbury, and everyone was talking about one thing: Independence.
Into this political environment stepped a figure who has become legend. I speak, of course, of Dawny.
During the height of what became known as The Troubles, it was common for members of the resistance, or people who fancied themselves such, to identify themselves only by their revolutionary code names. Thus is Dawny's birth name lost to history, which is fitting. She is simply Dawny.
Dawny captivated the movement with her electrifying speeches, but it was her tactical and political brilliance that gave it teeth. Along with DoubleU, she led the Purple Revolution, the five-year armed struggle that led to independence.
In honor of our long struggle the new nation was named Invicta, and was first conceived as a republic led by a unique dual presidency headed by Dawny and DoubleU. Dawny was always the more dynamic and active of the two, however, and quickly became the public face of the brash young nation.
And brash we were. From the first, Invicta commanded respect on the world stage. Who can forget the iconic image of Dawny addressing the United Nations, demanding recognition? Is it any wonder that she is thought of as one of the twentieth century's greatest figures?
Things were quickly changing at home. The dual presidency reverted to a single office when DoubleU resigned of his own free will due to a previously undiagnosed heart condition. Any rumors of a government ouster orchestrated by the Ministry of Internal Affairs are wholly inaccurate, and any person propagating these rumors should be regarded as a dangerous subversive and possible terrorist. Our freedom requires constant vigilance.
A message from your Ministry of
Internal Affairs.
Surely the single most memorable event of Dawny's reign was her marriage to Atlashill, who would become her vice president and eventual successor. But President Atlashill was unable to escape the shadow of his beloved mate, and Dawny, for her part, was unable to fully unburden herself of affairs of state, as she longed to do, so long as her husband remained president. So Atlashill's term was brief, and has come to be seen by historians as a kind of postscript to Dawny's long and triumphant tenure.
After Atlashill I became president, and it was then that modern Invicta began to take shape. My government initiated a massive construction program, erecting such iconic structures as Jorost Tower and the Punishment Dome. I mean, can you even picture the Canterbury skyline without the Punishment Dome?
But of course the defining event of my presidency was the social and political movement known as the Invictan Renaissance, which combined ancient Kentish cultural traditions with a modern desire to be ruled with an iron fist. Hundreds of thousands of ordinary Invictans marched on Canterbury demanding change. As a committed democrat, I of course had no choice but to accede to their wishes, assuming the title Lord Protector and changing the official name of the country to Regnum Invictorum in deference to our ancient roots. I never supported the move, but sometimes a leader's hands are tied by the will of his people. From the start I waged a tireless, behind-the-scenes campaign to change the name back, an effort I am pleased to announce has been successful. In the current CIA World Factbook our official name is listed as "Realm of Invicta," which is correct.
Why not Kingdom of Invicta, you ask? Why am I Lord Protector and not King? The reason is simple: There has not been a King of Kent since the 9th century. The royal bloodlines have long since died out or been lost. We were a kingdom without a king, and so that's exactly what we became. As Lord Protector I fulfill the role and function of a monarch, but I am not of royal blood—no one in Invicta is. We have no royalty. (This is why the Lord Protector of Invicta is traditionally afforded the style His Highness instead of His ROYAL Highness, a mistake easily made if one is not familiar with the ins and outs of the British honors system.)
Of course, I am no longer the political dictator of Invicta. Although I remain head of state, I have ceded the role of head of government to the president. The office of Lord Protector has long since been decoupled from the ugly political realities of government. This has freed me up to spend a lot more time flying around the world with Bill Clinton on his private plane, Bare Force One.
And that is the story of Invicta if it were a real country.