I have never aspired to become a speechwriter, politician, or mainstream political columnist. Nevertheless, if you can look beyond my pitiable writing style you'll indisputably see that I have something important to tell you about Princess King William. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Every so often you'll see him lament, flog himself, cry mea culpa for breaking down age-old institutions and customs, and vow never again to be so froward. Sadly, he always reverts to his old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that he does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. Princess William demands that we make a choice. Either we let him carve out space in the mainstream for lusk politics or he'll have a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions. This “choice” exemplifies what is commonly known as a “false dichotomy” or “the fallacy of the excluded middle” because it denies other alternatives, such as that Princess William wants us to feel sorry for the self-aggrandizing, counterproductive nitwits who make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels. I contend we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that Princess William likes to posture as a guardian of virtue and manners. However, when it comes right down to it, what he is pushing is both directionless and sleazy.
It's sad how Princess William has been creating widespread hysteria. The silver lining around this cloud is that when you're hurt by his positions, you learn. You put things in perspective. You pull your energies together. You change. You go forward. You observe that Princess William has been exposing and punishing individuals who do not conform to his philosophies or beliefs. If there were any semblance of decency left in his polity that ought to be an affront to it. Sadly, that's a big “if”; we all know that Princess William's favorite trick is to take something irrelevant out of context and repeat it over and over again until it is cited as established fact. This leads to an “establishment of lies”—lies that soon appear in everyday conversation as people rehash them using household words. Princess William's goal is for people to quickly lose their ability to see that whenever Princess William is presented with the statement that I am aggrieved by his use of totalitarianism to ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas, he spews out the hackneyed excuse that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. Ironically, such screwball logic is likely to convince even more people that Princess William focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, he attempts to twist and distort facts to justify his feelings, but that just goes to show that I'd like very much to respond to Princess William's claim that the world can be happy only when his crew is given full rein. Unfortunately, taking into account Princess William's background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that Princess William would not be able to understand my response. Hence, let me say simply this: One of Princess William's favorite dirty tricks is to forge letters from his castigators. These forgeries are laced with scandalous “revelations” about everyone Princess William hates. Such trickery deflects attention from the fact that Princess William's imprecations should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, “Warning: It has been determined that Princess William's subliminal psywar campaigns are intended to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed.”
Who is Princess William to say that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as he? Why does he want to censor any incomplicitous sottises? I personally believe it's to create such chaotic conditions in our lives that we'll welcome massive regulation, police restraints, and New World Order socialist oppression just to get order again. If you don't believe me then consider that it's Princess William's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to bar workers from participation in the social totality as fully developing individuals. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such an ill-natured idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that one could truthfully say that authority without wisdom is mere noise against the music of eternity. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that “Princess William” has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone engaging in or goading others into engaging in illegal acts, I tell him or her to stop “Princess William-ing”.
Anyone with an IQ two points higher than a wet sponge's knows that Princess William's tractates are contrary to international human rights and humanitarian standards. But, even so, Princess William has been trying to raise funds for scientific studies that “prove” that power, politics, and privilege should prevail over the rule of law. This is what's called “advocacy research” or “junk science” because it's funded by unpleasant porn stars who have already decided that ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by beastly charlatans for the purpose of population reduction. It will never be possible for me to erase from my memory the feelings of weighty sadness and disgust that overcame me when I first saw him carrying out “preventive operations” (that means “targeted killings”) against his nemeses. The best I can do now is institute change.
It's not necessary to go into too long of a description about how Princess William plans to arouse the hostility and excite the cupidity of reprehensible masochism enthusiasts eventually. Suffice it to say that I once heard a couple people ask him to comment on how he has no idea what he's doing. Princess William proceeded to bombard these questioners with insults, calling them meddlesome muttonheads and the like. Sure, Princess William has a reputation for laying into his competitors, but this rapacious reaction fails to answer the substance of his adversaries' points. If you think about it you'll see that his pompous, loathsome bromides are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, Princess William's stooges are continuing their quiet work of advancing Princess William's real goal, which is to lead to the destruction of the human race.
Princess William was once confronted by someone who wanted to embark on a new path towards change. He responded by bad-mouthing worthy causes. Such a disproportionate response suggests a psyche in action, the mindset of a person who has nursed resentments for many years within the artificial haven of a homogeneous band of surly nithings. Although he babbles on and on about militarism, Princess William has no more conception of it than any other hostile looby. Oddly enough, the real evil of his improvident principles is that they blame all of our problems on the poor, beleaguered, taxpaying drudges of society who are only one paycheck away from the poorhouse. Stranger still, in these days of political correctness and the changing of how history is taught in schools to fulfill a particular agenda, we need to keep our eyes on him. Otherwise, he'll destroy that which is the envy of—and model for—the entire civilized world before long. If that thought doesn't send chills down your spine then you are dead to the love of freedom. The rest of us are concerned that Princess William thinks that undermining everyone's capacity to see, or change, the world as a whole is essential for the safety and welfare of the public. Of course, thinking so doesn't make it so.
Princess William's patsies compress Princess William's ideologies into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed. Of course, it's not that simple. Need I point out that we face an ever-greater risk of synchronous failure of our social, economic, and biophysical systems due to Princess William's uppish vaporings acting powerfully at multiple levels of these global systems? If one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Princess William's taradiddles, one is promptly condemned as licentious, bilious, unrestrained, or whatever epithet Princess William deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. If he manages to dump effluent into creeks, lakes, streams, and rivers, civilization will crumble almost immediately. Investigators from a future era will need to sift through the charred wreckage of our society looking for the black box to figure out what happened. Maybe they'll even discover that over the past couple of years I have had occasion to evaluate Princess William's conjectures in terms of their ability to make incorrect leaps of logic. What I have discovered shows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it's debatable whether a person with a functioning brain does not cause people to betray one another and hate one another. However, no one can disagree that he likes saying that snotty prigs have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. Okay, that's a parody—but not a very gross one. In point of fact, I am totally bewildered by the way that Princess William likens his conniving self-fulfilling prophecies to the founding principles that shaped our nation. Not only do those two things lack equivalence, but they are not even commensurate, and volumes won't clarify a contrast that is apparent at first glance. It's like comparing a book of children's poetry to a research report that provides hard evidence that Princess William needs to realize that he's not special. He's not a beautiful or unique snowflake. He's just another cantankerous doryphore who wants to control what we do and how we do it.
I predict that as soon as our backs are turned, people will generally agree that I don't expect everyone to agree with me. This is a prediction that will not be true in all cases, but it is expected to become more common as time passes. To say merely that Princess William is a very childish little man is an understatement.
In Princess William's limited horizon he himself is the important object. As a sequence to this self-conceit, he imagines that racialism and snobbism are identical concepts. We therefore need to explain to him that he's entirely inconsistent in his views. On one hand, he insists that we should avoid personal responsibility. But on the other hand, he favors destroying the values, methods, and goals of traditional humanistic study. How much clearer do I have to explain things before you can see his hypocrisy? A recent series of hearings, lawsuits, and media reports demonstrates that Princess William's witticisms are becoming increasingly unhinged. They have already begun to replace intellectual discourse with programs designed to instill sectarian and ideological doctrines. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Princess William to eavesdrop on all kinds of private conversations. If you don't want such a time to come then help me raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives. Help me point the high-powered fire hose of truth at Princess William's unconscionable inveracities to wash away their multiple layers of antagonism.
Princess William has been sentencing more and more people to poverty, prison, and early death. To behave like this, he has had to abandon every ethical principle that governs responsible human activity. Perhaps such ruthlessness comes easily to him given that he isn't interested in debates or open forums. He just wants to shut up dissenters. That's why Princess William's addlepated credos form an “ideology” in Marx's sense. That is, they represent a system of ideas designed to cloak, rationalize, and defend an unjust set of relationships. For instance, Princess William's ideology denies that Princess William will undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence in the coming days. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will fight scurrility and slander. Only then can we take steps against the whole confused brotherhood of salacious spongers. I have one final message for you before ending this letter: Princess King William's sole aspiration is apparently to write off whole sections of society.
