I refer to soccer as the Sports Actors' Guild of the World. Anytime I watch soccer, while it does have its exciting moments, I see players flop all over the ground when someone barely touches them. "Oh, he bumped into me! All of my bones are broken!" I used to play it in elementary school and some other kids did the same thing. Here I am running around, clearly the shortest kid on the field and I barely bump into the biggest one and he flops on the ground crying like a big baby. I got yellow carded for it because he put on enough of a show. I thought, "I'll give him something to cry about." A couple of minutes later when I was moving the ball down the field he got in my way so I kicked the ball as hard as I could right at his nuts. The ball bounced back at me and when he went down, I kicked it again and hit him square in the face and gave him a bloody nose. I got red carded, but it was worth it and I walked off the field laughing. I don't like it when players get bumped into and act like they got hit by a car. If I ever got bumped into, I'd just bump back into them harder. Probably one of the reasons why I like American football so much more.
Imperial Sparta