I fucked my son's teacher for A's- the ethical dilemma of trading sexual favors for benefits
So as many of you probably don't know I (used to) have a son growing up who, after mistreatment from his teacher, found himself failing his math class. Upon analyzing it, putting my son through various educational programs, finding various tutors, spending hours with him myself, I started to wonder why an otherwise all A student was failing, or getting a D, in his math class. It was a fairly unusual set of circumstances for a student who so successfully used math in science and other classes to suddenly not be able to do it in this class, and from anecdotal evidence I could tell that he was fairly intelligent and otherwise good at it. Upon looking at his grades, I found that, not so surprisingly, answers that, for all intents and purposes I could tell he got correct, were actually marked as wrong. Even in some cases after he had gone back and done it. It had seemed that, the teacher had mistakenly thought he had gotten the information wrong on what was right and wrong on the paper. 2 + 2 is not 5, so, how he managed to get this one wrong, even though he wrote down 4, I can't be certain. But hey, all teachers makes mistakes like this.
Apparently she had across 38 papers. And that's what I had myself; that is, one can assume on tests or quizzes that the teacher kept or didn't return some of the homework and that my son would have obviously lost some of the papers. No-one would think a teacher would make that many mistakes. After talking to many other student's parents with the same teachers, their kids were not so poorly graded. So, that left me wondering; what was so special about my child? It wasn't really a secret that, at least according to my son, she hated him for some reason. Could have been the weird hair, the strange behaviors, just the way he looked, the fact he was "girly" and would later become transgendered (so, now I have a daughter), but for some reason or another, he was unfairly grading him. This was particularly problematic, because my son had a scholarship riding on their grades; after all, if you're the top 10% or 7% etc. in your class in Texas, you're pretty much guaranteed a scholarship at certain colleges. So, with this D in their, not only did he need math to pass on to the next grade, but it also threw off his average, enough to not make him in the top 10%. This wasn't just a dick move, it was going to lose him thousands of dollars and even the college of his choice.
It's kind of a big deal. When presenting the evidence I did and complaining the principals numerous numerous times (which parents often do), spending countless hours of my own on it, we were only able to get some of the tests changed. Some had occurred in the previous 9 weeks or season or what have you, and thus she was not willing or even able to change them before this. Further, on the things the teacher withheld, For whatever reason, she wasn't fired or disciplined and he was't changed to another teacher, and pretty much they left us with this teacher, after she knew we had put a bad mark on her record. After this she became even more horrific; She deliberately withheld homework papers from him, she frequently gave him zeroes on just about everything, and made his life a living hell. It got to a point where he even thought about dropping out of school all together or changing, just due to this one teacher, which would have set him back considerably and destroyed his GPA. Apparently, there's not much you can do about it.
So, I came in, man to uh... woman, and asked her flatly to her face why she was doing this. She at first denied it or said that she wasn't targeting him, then she went on to say that mistakes happen and these sorts of things occurred, and then something peculiar happened; she started talking about the stress on her. On all the terrible things she was going through, her divorce, her terrible husband (whom apparently he reminded her of), all the idiotic stupid kids and parents she dealt with, and pretty much how she felt entitled to hurting others. While I empathized with her position, it was certainly no reason to hurt a child, especially with something so important, and in general I wouldn't have given her the time of day. But it portrayed a pattern to me; she was a bully. She was feeling weak or helpless in some part of her life and rather than empowering her self, she instead tried to hurt other people to make herself feel better about herself. It doesn't really work very well and you end up feeling guilty so, when you feel bad you do it again and then the problem becomes cyclical until it escalates. Apparently, the uh, "power" that she had being able to control the destiny of a child made her feel good and so, she went around hurting children.
Makes enough sense. But it didn't solve, my problem. Now, I love my son; almost more than anything in the world, other than say, my wiife, or, my other children, even more than my own life. And it got me to thinking; if I was willing to die for my son to have a good life, work 8 hours a day at a dead-end crappy job, what else would I be willing to do for them? If I could fall on my metaphorical sword for them, why not, fall on top of... other things? Granted I was a man, and she was a woman, so, there was no conflict of interest there, but as a devil-she woman with a desire to harm others, I had no particular interest in her. She was in her late 40's, not very attractive and while not really that old, seemed much older than she was. Like a life full of anger and hate and stress had aged her and made her even older than she would be. She was not a nice woman, but she also wasn't frail, perhaps very slender, but otherwise a slightly below average looking female. So, what would I be willing to do?
Needless to say, I could tell she needed a release, or at the very least that I needed leverage over her. Be it, idk, incriminating photos with someone else or a student, something she didn't want released publicly or to her family, or even blackmail would have worked. A combination of the two was ideal; one, she could rely on me for uh... comfort, and two I could expose the relationship to say she used it against me to keep my kid from failing which, would also constitute as rape on her part. A sort of, reverse blackmail scheme, where I pretend I was being blackmailed or extorted for my son's grade. That would certainly make the news, even if there was no court case for it. So I entered the uh... relationship, knowing full-well that, I would have to document everything in case of plan B. This may sound like a horrific and awfully manipulative thing to do to someone but, she was an evil, shrewd woman who was threatening my son and unabashedly hitting on me even though I was clearly furious with her. If it came down to it, if she wanted to go nuclear, and destroy my son's life, I wanted an option to threaten to destroy hers. Not that she deserved to be a teacher anyways.
So, I did what any man with an extensive psychological background and who dealt with a brother did for most of my life. I feigned interest. Pretending like I was really listening and understanding her side of the argument. I didn't go too easily; people like this often enjoy the chase, it makes them feel more powerful. At first I initially ignored or pretended to ignore the advances; twitching a little to show that I noticed or pausing my sentence but otherwise moving on. Eventually I acknowledged small things, like compliments, especially on my looks or appearance, or even that I had lost weight or something of that effect. Later on I began dressing differently which, while it doesn't usually imply to people that dressing uh, in an attractive manner or "sexily" means "I want to be raped", people of this type usually don't understand these things. I started to give "signals" but back off; talk casually "by accident" but then jump back to a professional stance after straightening my composure. Eventually, she flat out asked me if we wanted to do something together, and I did all in my power to ensure that it would lead to sex as quickly as possible.
She wasn't particularly attractive, and I'm not sure she found me all that much, but knowing that she had "power" over me and other such things on top of a deep, albeit obviously twisted connection to me probably made the relationship better; furthermore, it was the perfect way to get back at her ex-husband who, obviously had left her for someone that in her eyes, was a far more attractive woman. Maybe being more attractive than him (not a very difficult thing to do) was enough. I can't say that it was. But about once a week, me and her continued to have uh... relations, to ensure that my son had good grades. Now I didn't outright come out and say it; obviously it would cheapen any emotional connection she felt she had. But obviously, I made it clear that it was important to me, that "now that we knew each other" and she saw my side of things that she could change my kids grades. Being the corrupt teacher she was and seeing how happy it made me (which I exaggerated so she would, you know, understand; people like this tend to be a bit dim, especially at reading other's emotions), she quite easily gave him A's and, even 100's. His grade point average wasn't perfect, he could kiss top 10 or Valedictorian goodbye, but top 10% was easy enough to do. She basically gave him straight 100's and 90's for the rest of the year. At the end I broke up with her and despite her continuing advances ignored her, even threatening to expose her at one point where she promptly left me alone. And I've barely heard from her since, except when she was really lonely or drunk.
Now, this of course leads to the time honored question of, is it moral and ethical to trade sexual favors for results? Is it morally reprehensible or bad to ask for favors in exchange for sex? In the case of good grades obviously a lot is riding on this like I mentioned but, for all intents and purposes I believed my kids understood it.
Is it okay to manipulate others emotionally? While I'm, pretty proud of what I've done, the fact of the matter is although I didn't enjoy doing it, I did like the end results. If someone were to get something in exchange for sexual favors, how do you feel it should be done? Or, if it should be done at all? What do you think, ED? By the way, the entire story was made up and it was just used as a sort of expositional piece of a "what if" scenario told in the first person.
Edited by Manoka, 29 March 2016 - 12:04 AM.