24 replies to this topic

[Chancellor Gunn]

Dear Diary, mood: apathetic

Err wait... wrong entry.

So I joined a gym today, well yesterday, 4/19/2014. I think I'll start telling you all about it. Why? Because I fucking can and you're going to fucking read it. Also, it will make me go to the gym if you yell at me and make me come on the forums. Win, win. Fuck you xR1.

I'll start with the day 1 experience next post

[Chancellor Gunn]

Day 1:

So, I went there to meet up with my cousin but he had to go to Fort Knox first and get his girlfriend's debit card, so I went in and signed up. I have to say, the only thing they showed me how to do was sign a release form and how to get into the gym. Nothing else. So my cousin finally gets there and I still have no fucking idea what to do, so I do what every normal person would do with a new gym membership, I get on the elliptical, or try to. There are 4 of these fancy ones and of course someone comes next to me and I'm like fuck. Some little girl running all fast and shit. Fuck me. So I start pushing buttons to turn it on and nothing. I'm like what the fuck. Did I get the only broken one? I keep pushing buttons, end up with the TV on but nothing else. Finally, as I'm getting off to go ask someone for help on how the fuck to do something, the girl next to me is like if you just start moving it turns on. I was like oh, that would make sense. She then proceeds to tell me her life story and ask me all kinds of questions.

She is:
A high school junior
Lost 20 pounds in the last few months
Just broke up with a guy named Thomas
Comes to the gym and cries on the elliptical when shes sad
Likes to look at cute guys there
Likes to see cute guys with expensive cars
Is moving to Alabama for college
Meets cute guys at the gym and parties
Pretty sure thought my cousin was hot
Knew everything he was wearing

Now mind you, I found out all of this, plus what little she got out of me in like 5 fucking minutes, AFTER JUST MEETING. I also must have some feature that yell's "IM GAY" because she kept talking about how I could meet cute guys (Part of the cute guy convo above). Never once did she say I (not her, but I) could meet a cute girl, but cute guys there. I just went with it.

So yeah, she was like oh you can change the resistance here and there so I did what any normal guy would do when a girl is out running you, I fucking turned up the resistance and started going faster. FYI, if you ever join a gym and workout the first day without working out in like ever, don't do this. It kills you, but your pride makes you keep going. So then when you get off the machine you walk around like you just had a massive cock up your ass and you can't walk right, nor in a straight line. So I was on there for like 7 - 10 mins and she got off and walked away and I was like my legs hurt. I should go do something else. So I went to this weird bike type machine and started on it. I can do bikes, I like biking. So I was like I should do this a lot. But my grandfather was all pissy and waiting on me so we could go somewhere, so I ended up spending like 5 mins on there and leaving. I did sweat some though. So, first day at the gym lasted about 20-30 minutes. But whatever. I had no idea what I was doing anyway, and there was not a single hot guy there working out. Depressing. Maybe tomorrow.

Day 1 Thoughts: My legs hurt
Day 1 YouTube Video: Thanks Learz!

[Daniel P]

In a few Years We will seeing the first Male(Nascar)-On-Male(XR1) Fights will duke it out to win Jorost Heart

 

 

It will look like something like this

 

 

 

And Also I contacting National Geographic on this Epic Manly Fight.

Edited by Daniel P, 20 April 2014 - 01:10 AM.

[PrinceVegeta]

In a few Years We will seeing the first Male(Nascar)-On-Male(XR1) Fights will duke it out to win Jorost Heart

 

 

It will look like something like this

 

 

 

And Also I contacting National Geographic on this Epic Manly Fight.

 

Lol

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

...I also must have some feature that yell's "IM GAY"

 

We've been telling you this for years. 

[The Dark Empire]

This is my lifting diary,

Chest/Back Day

Went to the gym where everyone and their mothers are using the benches.

Guy asks me how many bench sets I have left, I respond 7, he walks away angrily.

Watch Asian men do pull ups and dips with a hundred pound assist.

Do incline bench and bent over rows.

Do flys and grunt a lot.

Pretend I'm a bird.

Do core while listening to a large group of soft looking men whimper after doing a 30 sec plank.

 

Leg Day

Ask the kid who is using the squat rack for god knows what how many more sets he needs to do. 

He says 15, obviously doesn't know the difference between a rep and set.

Do back squats roaring like a lion the whole time.

Jesus appears and asks me if I need a spot. 

Jesus spots me for two sets.

I limp over to do deadlifts.

More grunting ensues.

Jesus cycles in.

Do a machine cycle like a boss and collapse on the mat for stretching and abs.

Crawl up the stairs back to my dorm.

 

Arm/Shoulder day

Steal dumb bells from someone. (You don't need 5 pairs in front of you just put them back goddammit)

Do first cycle of presses, dips and curls.

Almost drop barbell on my face at failure when doing skull crushers (Now I get where the name comes from).

Arms are so pumped I feel like they might actually explode.

Walk around trying to touch my shoulders with my thumbs. Laugh when I can't

Do forearm training and feel like the hulk afterwards. 

Concentrate hard while doing concentration curls.

Stare at hot girl's ass while she squats in front of me

Listen to all the fat girls talk about how much they hate core while I actually do core

 

Rinse and Repeat whilst looking at hot girls in the mirror

[Manoka]

Diary Entry

Kill a guy. 

Kill another guy. 

Have premarital sex. 

Sell some drugs.

Take some drugs.

Kill a woman, I *thought* was a man. 

Then I kill another guy.

Then I kill another guy.

Then I kill another guy.

Then I kill another guy.

Then I kill another guy.

 

Diary Entry is over. 

 

Yay Israel and America; long live the CIA. 

Edited by Manoka, 20 April 2014 - 11:05 PM.

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

This is my lifting diary,

Chest/Back Day

Went to the gym where everyone and their mothers are using the benches.

Guy asks me how many bench sets I have left, I respond 7, he walks away angrily.

Watch Asian men do pull ups and dips with a hundred pound assist.

Do incline bench and bent over rows.

Do flys and grunt a lot.

Pretend I'm a bird.

Do core while listening to a large group of soft looking men whimper after doing a 30 sec plank.

 

Leg Day

Ask the kid who is using the squat rack for god knows what how many more sets he needs to do. 

He says 15, obviously doesn't know the difference between a rep and set.

Do back squats roaring like a lion the whole time.

Jesus appears and asks me if I need a spot. 

Jesus spots me for two sets.

I limp over to do deadlifts.

More grunting ensues.

Jesus cycles in.

Do a machine cycle like a boss and collapse on the mat for stretching and abs.

Crawl up the stairs back to my dorm.

 

Arm/Shoulder day

Steal dumb bells from someone. (You don't need 5 pairs in front of you just put them back goddammit)

Do first cycle of presses, dips and curls.

Almost drop barbell on my face at failure when doing skull crushers (Now I get where the name comes from).

Arms are so pumped I feel like they might actually explode.

Walk around trying to touch my shoulders with my thumbs. Laugh when I can't

Do forearm training and feel like the hulk afterwards. 

Concentrate hard while doing concentration curls.

Stare at hot girl's ass while she squats in front of me

Listen to all the fat girls talk about how much they hate core while I actually do core

 

Rinse and Repeat whilst looking at hot girls in the mirror

 

⬆︎ Seems like more effort to keep the diary than to do the actual workout!

[Chancellor Gunn]

Ive went again, I hurt all over

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

You should be starting with low-impact stuff that will boost your metabolism.  Swimming would be ideal.

[Daniel P]

Ive went again, I hurt all over

 

I never went to a Jym but I used to ride the bike to the store up to 3 times a day. The stores can be 0.5 miles to 1.5 miles away. The only thing I hate is those HILLS. You would have expected when you live in Madison   Heights.

Edited by Daniel P, 21 April 2014 - 10:33 AM.

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

Biking would be good too.  Aerobic exercise.  The best thing would be running/jogging but you're probably not ready for that yet.

[The Dark Empire]

Ive went again, I hurt all over

It's supposed to hurt. If I'm not sore after my workout it is because I didn't stress my muscles enough and the workout didn't do much to help me improve. I look forward to the pain because it means I'm going to get stronger. No one said it was going to be easy.

[ᗅᗺᗷᗅ]

Well...  It's supposed to hurt a bit.  But be careful.  A lot of people have triggered a potentially fatal reaction called rhabdomyolysis by working out too intensely when their bodies weren't ready for it (especially when doing CrossFit).  That's why it's best to start with low-impact stuff when you're starting off and aren't in very good shape.

[Thrash]

I have the uncanny ability of waking up in the morning and feeling like I was at the gym all night.

[Chancellor Gunn]

So Day 2 is where I fucked up. It was less than 24 hours after the first time I went and was at like 3 am. There was one other guy there. One. Other. Fucking. Guy. But he was on the front on a treadmill so I got on the elliptical for like 10 mins to warm up and ventured around the gym some. I did some dumbbell thingys and was like w/e lets move on. Then I went to the pull down weight machine, and I fucked up. I didn't know it at the time but I'm sitting there on it adjusting the knee thing and shit and I'd put the weight up and then try one down and I was like ok I can do this. I moved it up more, next! I did it up until it was 2-3 times what I'm doing now (the correct one) aka where I could just barley do one (first real day at the gym mind you) and started pulling down. So when you can just barley do one, you can really do that many but I kept trying to hammer them out almost flying off the damn machine. Why? Because I'm fucking Invicta gov mother fucker. We have no training. WE JUST DO. So yeah I got a little fucked on it and was like ow my arm hurts. So I went to a bicycle and hopped on that bitch and road it into town. The other guy fucked with a machine for a second or two and then disappear to the men's bathroom for forever. I left while he was in there.

[lissa]

So Day 2 is where I fucked up. It was less than 24 hours after the first time I went and was at like 3 am. There was one other guy there. One. Other. Fucking. Guy. But he was on the front on a treadmill so I got on the elliptical for like 10 mins to warm up and ventured around the gym some. I did some dumbbell thingys and was like w/e lets move on. Then I went to the pull down weight machine, and I fucked up. I didn't know it at the time but I'm sitting there on it adjusting the knee thing and shit and I'd put the weight up and then try one down and I was like ok I can do this. I moved it up more, next! I did it up until it was 2-3 times what I'm doing now (the correct one) aka where I could just barley do one (first real day at the gym mind you) and started pulling down. So when you can just barley do one, you can really do that many but I kept trying to hammer them out almost flying off the damn machine. Why? Because I'm fucking Invicta gov mother fucker. We have no training. WE JUST DO. So yeah I got a little fucked on it and was like ow my arm hurts. So I went to a bicycle and hopped on that bitch and road it into town. The other guy fucked with a machine for a second or two and then disappear to the men's bathroom for forever. I left while he was in there.

 

 

3 AM??  I was counting zzz''ss

[Chancellor Gunn]

Day 3

So the day after Day 2 and especially 2 days after day 2 (Day 3 of the gym was in the afternoon 2 days after day 2) My arms fucking hurt like mad. I couldn't extend my arms at all without pain, especially my right one. They hurt like a motherfucker and I had to keep them bent at a 90 degree angle, which is kinda hard. But anyway, after this I decided to seek qualified assistance. And by that I mean my cousin's girlfriend. We go right after work btw so its packed. So she put me on the elliptical and was like you need to stay here for at least 15 mins. I got on a different kinda of elliptical than last time too. So I was like I'll show this bitch, I'll stay on here for 30. Plus it was arm day and my arms hurt like a bitch so I was like the more time I stay here, the less work I have to do. We call my cousin's gf the warden btw. So at first its easy and then it gets tough about 10 mins in switching between jogging/running and kinda walking. Well as much as you can walk on one. It's like walking very awkwardly. And I'm like I'm out of breathe, I'm tired, my legs hurt, etc.. I may go get some water and break for just a second. Then I'm like no she'll bitch. I'll keep going until I really can't So after about 15-18 mins I work through that and it gets easier still doing the same so I even up the resistance some. I finish it sweating a ton but make it for like 35 mins before she comes to retrieve me.

So then we go to the first machine. The assisted pull up machine. So she is good about it, she tells me what the machine is, what it works out, and then does it first before putting me on. Not just here go do this. So she gets on and does the pull ups and then puts me on and she's like ok we'll put the weight down to here. On this machine the more weight, the easier it is. Well I didn't know what to expect because its weird and she had the weight too low so I get one and it just plummets straight to the ground and I freak off and half slide off, because my legs / the seat is sweaty/wet (You're on this on your knees) and half jump off. So the weights go flying up and she jumps trying to stop it but too late, WAAAAM. The weights come slamming down as the thing flies up. The gym is backed and I just made the loudest fucking sound in there. So everyone of course turns and looks at me. Now I wasn't really too bad off but some guy yelled DAAMMNN. And I realized it was a hot guy I used to work with. I was like fuck he recognizes me. For the rest of the day he was near me and he was the only one I felt embarrassed or shy out of at the entire gym. We never said anything, he kept looking at me a few times. I think at first he was trying to figure out if it was me (it's been a while, I've lost a little weight, went to contacts, and really different hair cut).

But anyway, after embarrassing myself I was kinda scared to get back on it (I jokingly before I got on said I'll make an ass out of myself, and I did...) but she moved it all the way down to the last weight and I was very careful and did a set. She then showed me how to do the pull downs and these were easier and I completed them. I was looking up something about this machine while writing this and it said to begin with put the weight at your weight - 20. She definitely didn't do that to begin with xD

So next was a machine you set back and pull the weight towards you with your legs up. Pretty easy. Then the machine I fucked myself on. She started the weight way lower (still everytime explaining the machine and doing it first) and I started to feel some burn about halfway through so it was probably more right for my strength. Then we did another machine that's dual where first you push the weight from in front of you out and to your side. Then you turn around move the arms and pull the weight from your side to in front of you. Not too bad. Then I humped the air some on some ab machine and we redid all the above again. It was nice being shown how to do shit

[Chancellor Gunn]

So Day 2 is where I fucked up. It was less than 24 hours after the first time I went and was at like 3 am. There was one other guy there. One. Other. Fucking. Guy. But he was on the front on a treadmill so I got on the elliptical for like 10 mins to warm up and ventured around the gym some. I did some dumbbell thingys and was like w/e lets move on. Then I went to the pull down weight machine, and I fucked up. I didn't know it at the time but I'm sitting there on it adjusting the knee thing and shit and I'd put the weight up and then try one down and I was like ok I can do this. I moved it up more, next! I did it up until it was 2-3 times what I'm doing now (the correct one) aka where I could just barley do one (first real day at the gym mind you) and started pulling down. So when you can just barley do one, you can really do that many but I kept trying to hammer them out almost flying off the damn machine. Why? Because I'm fucking Invicta gov mother fucker. We have no training. WE JUST DO. So yeah I got a little fucked on it and was like ow my arm hurts. So I went to a bicycle and hopped on that bitch and road it into town. The other guy fucked with a machine for a second or two and then disappear to the men's bathroom for forever. I left while he was in there.

 
 
3 AM??  I was counting zzz''ss
 

Well, we had went to a theme park immediately after "day 1" and I slept on the way home (7-8) then got home and slept from 8-11:30 and then was wide awake all night

[Manoka]

Make sure to stretch a lot, before and after, and research stretches, and practice those too, trying to get better at them; it's not supposed to hurt, so keep that in mind. 

 

Also, you can't exercise the same exercise every day, so you have to switch it up a bit. If your arms are sore, don't do arms until they aren't sore. Legs and so on. 

 

 

Also always try to practice good form; research dat shit too. O_O